Tuesday, October 02, 2012

My heart is like a refrigerator.

I think I'm ready to start writing again.

This summer, I sure have struggled with bitterness. I cannot be the only one, so here are my prayers and thoughts on this topic.

One of my favorite Tim Keller quotes:
Worry is not believing God will get it right, and bitterness is believing God got it wrong.

Do you know how much time I can spend thinking about how life should be? Sorry, God, but this didn't exactly fit into my original five year plan. That root of bitterness is black and secretive.

Y'all, I hate cleaning out the fridge. It's straight up nasty, so I leave veggie dips and yogurt in there for weeks. And when my sweet husband cleans out the fridge, those once delicious snacks have soured and festered in the dark (we also haven't replaced the door light in months).
As women, we sure are good at finding a Pinterest-like snapshot of someone's life and blowing it up into a movie of what our life should have been. It begins as a harmless daydream. But it grows. Oh, how it grows. Left unchecked, it drips like molasses, silently through my arteries until they are hardened with bitterness.

Men have porn. And affairs. And work. And those things can destroy relationship.

But a woman's bitter hard can crush a relationship like nothing else.

We have the ability to demolish other women and our husbands with resentment.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15

I call it (blame it on) so many things. A broken heart. Or abuse from other women. Or our past hurts. Whatever. Call it what it is. It's a lack of trust in the Lord's plan and contentment in Christ and therefore sin. 

 How kind of Him to call us out in our sin. His lovingkindess calls us to repentence.

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