1) Joel and I bought a Christmas tree! We decided to go fake for our first Christmas, mostly because we didn't want the hastle of a real tree this year. But I love our tree! It's big and pretty, and we are going to decorate it today. I'll take pictures soon.
2) I'm on my way to meet Lauree, my old college roommate, at the airport. She is coming in from Seattle where she is working in youth ministry.
3) My brother is coming home today! He will be here sometime tonight. He's actually moving to NC in a few weeks, which I'm really excited about. He lives in Kentucky now, which is really too far away.
4) I saw the movie Expelled last night. It was really interesting. I think it made some valid points about the consequences of teaching intelligent design in a university setting. It is something I've thought about as a teacher. I do believe that God created the earth, and I'm ok not knowing exactly how that happened. I'm not ok with teaching my kids that there was no Creator. An elementary school isn't exactly the height of academia, and I don't teach the specifics of science. But kids certainly ask lots of questions.
5) Just got word that Lauree is still in Seattle and her flight was cancelled. Bummer!
Yesterday my "troubled" student got in a fight at recess and got suspended. At the end of the day. Right before Christmas break.
He missed our party today.
After school, I tagged along with our principal to drop off some gifts in the neighborhood our poorest kids come from.
And that's why I'm sobered, because my students (at least 4 of them) come from homes with drug trafficking, single parents, prostitution in the neighborhood. I walked up to one of the apartments and could smell the smoke...the not cigarette smoke. My kids are surviving, fending for themselves, doing the best they can. And I was heartbroken.
But my principal reminded me not to feel pity. I can be compassionate and understanding of where they come from, but if I feel sorry for them, I'll give them excuses. And what I really want is for them to meet my high expectations, not to settle, and to get out of their surroundings. I tell my "troubled" student to "leave it at the door". His life is pretty terrible, but he can't bring it with him everyday. He won't go anywhere with it. I just pray that I can be a teacher that inspires them to know they are better than that.
I have no idea what's best for them. But what I have is tools for them to get to the next grade (hopefully) and sometimes I think it's all I've got left. I need to remember that I have Christ's love in my heart, and that pushes me to push them to be successful.
Today, I was so thankful to my kids for the sweet presents they gave. My poorest kids brought in a handpicked present. So sweet.
Joel and I have a dining room table COVERED with chocolates and breads and candy canes...so if anyone wants a snack, let me know!
We also got some nice gift cards (which we've split) so we can buy some new clothes and go out to eat. We're so thankful.
It was the handwritten notes from kids ("Mary Cristmas Mrs. Orr!") that were really touching. And the big hugs as they left. This week reminded me why I wanted to be a teacher.
I feel like everyone should have a place where they can go...a really quiet, still spot when things don't make sense.
I've had this place for a while...since high school. Ashley and I found it on a run one day. The thing is, a lot of people actually go to this spot but for some reasonI like to think it's all mine.
(It's like when I was a little girl and my parents took me to RotaryPark. I guess I was in that stage when everything was mine, and I used to ask to go to "my park." My parents called it my park all the time after that.)
This place is really special to me. There is a stream, an offshoot from ShelleyLake, off the paved path and into the woods. It's not really secluded, but it's hidden enough that I feel protected there.
I don't think that God is in the trees or the water or the rocks, but I think they "cry out" of His wonder and beauty. His creation tells of His greatness and I sometimes need that place to remind me that He is bigger than all of this.
I've come to a humbling place this weekend and it needed to happen. I've let a lot of relationships almost run into the ground and I've lied to myself and believed that as a Christian I have freedoms, when really I used it as a license to sin.
Today, there was a man riding his bike along this path. There was a woman standing on rocks in the middle of the stream, playing with her dog. There was a couple, sitting on slabs of stone amid the water, huddled together, eyes closed, heads down. I guess a lot of people need this place, too.
And this stream is always flowing. And running along it reminds me of the Living Water, that eternal spring that is promised to us. And I know that the Lord is merciful and loving and wants us to delight in Him and in His creation, especially in people.
I am never cured after going to that place. But it is the only thing I know to do when there is too much clutter, too much sin, too much ugliness in me and I need a serenity that only comes from stillness before the Lord my God.
The husband has been sick since last night. We think he has some mild food poisoning. (Please pray.)
We have had some serious discussions and made some exciting/challenging decisions. I like being a "we."
We have the Lord. We have Him first because if there is one thing I know, it’s that our relationship can’t survive without Him. And we have a partnership together. And we may not have it all together and we may have a long way to go but Jesus has it all together and Jesus went all that way for us and that is the most comforting thing I could know, and I just realized it right this very second.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Yesterday was the anniversary of our engagement. We aren't huge on anniversaries, but this being our first big thing, we celebrating by...roasting marshmallows! Joel proposed to me when we were roasting marshmallows in the fireplace. He put the ring on the skewer and handed it to me, so when I took the skewer, the ring fell off in my hand!
I liked this picture of Joel:
I also made this thumbprint cookies. Joel LOVED them, and this evening they were all gone! So I made another batch.
(1 c. butter, 1/3 sugar/Splenda, 1 tsp vanilla, 1 c. flour, 1 egg. Mix all the ingredients, then roll into balls. Make a thumbprint that you can fill with jelly. I used blackberry jelly and some with honey. The honey isn't as pretty but it's delicious.)
I made them about 30 minutes ago and there are....6 left.
This evening I also took a Zoomba and a Belly Dancing class at the Y. It was a-mazing. I loved it. Especially Zoomba because the Lord blessed me with some hips and I need to learn how to move them.
Next up: homemade salsa, classroom frustrations, classroom victories. Stay tuned!
A few weeks ago, a sweet little girl named Egypt wrote me this letter. I keep it on my fridge and read it on bad days. I genuinely feel terrible about this week. It's amazing how I'm a grown-up now and have a college degree and have times when I lose control of 8 year olds.
But here it is for your reading pleasure (this has not been edited):
Title : Ms. Orr is Awsam Ms. Orr you are the Best teacher I have ever had and I feel so bad for you when we give you a hard time because you be nice to us and we can't be nice back. You are smart and you make me smart thank you for the fun and for the kindness and I love when you let us go on the permetheyan [Promethean-our interactive whiteboard] and let us do thing that we what to do you say yes alot and that's what makes you so awsam when we are saposs to do 5 pink ticket [our reward system] you let us do i more or 2 more you are the Best. Sometimes you try to teach and we keep on talking what makes you get frustrated and all you want us to do is pass the grade listen and be smart so we can make good grades I hope you like Joyner and your class.
It's things like that that make me love my job.
Friday, December 05, 2008
I am in Survival Mode.
Today, while the hubs was getting a hair cut, I read this article.
And it really got me thinking about things.
I am inconsistent.
And I need to really push my students.
I have become exasperated so much this week. My management skills have been off. My organization (or lack thereof) has been affecting my teaching. And I need to get it together.
I have high hopes of being an engaging teacher that challenges her students.
But I need to remember three things.
1) I can only do this with God's strength.
2) I am in only the 2nd quarter of the first year.
3) I need to remember what's at stake here. And stop making excuses. And freaking do it.
1) Thanksgiving was great. Lots of food. Mostly relaxing. I couldn't sleep until about 12:30 Sunday night and read The BFG until I drifted off.
2) I taught division using marshmallows this week. How fun!
3) Parent conferences this week have been really in depth and I feel like it's my classroom and I am in charge of it.
4) Not sure how this happened so suddenly, but I'm back to my pre-student teacher weight and that's not ok. So I am going to go back on my teaching diet (which meant I was too busy to eat snacks and all my meals were extremely healthy). I went shopping tonight and...ugh...terrible. I hate letting myself go.
5) Last night my husband came back with yummy Whole Foods dinner, a rosemary tree (bush? plant.), and a Newsweek. How sweet.
6) Over the break, we bought pecans at the Farmer's Market, and I spent two whole evenings shelling pecans.
And then last night I made homemade granola.
Here's the recipe:
* 3 cups rolled oats * 2/3 cup sliced almonds * 2/3 cup chopped pecans * 2/3 cup raw sunflower seeds * 1/2 cup canola oil * 1/2 cup honey * 1 tablespoon vanilla extract * 1 tablespoon and 1 tsp. ground cinnamon and * 1/4 molasses
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). 2. In a large bowl, stir oats, nuts and sunflower kernels together. In a separate bowl, mix together oil, honey, molasses, vanilla and cinnamon. Add to dry ingredients; mix well. Spread mixture onto two ungreased baking sheets. 3. Bake in preheated oven, for 10 minutes, remove from oven and stir. Return to oven and continue baking until golden, about 10 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool completely before storing.
And here's a picture of the hubs and I on our first Thanksgiving!
