I once had this deal, of sorts, with God. It went something like this:
"Ok, God, if you will just make sure
It's like I created my own bubble that I thought I had control over, forgetting completely that I'm actually in control of very little.
What I've learned is just how fearful I was of that very worst thing. Paula Rinehart spoke about this idea of "IFs." She says that we so often live in the If onlys and What ifs, but God is telling us to live in the Even ifs. And I heard the Lord very clearly say to me, "Even if your 'worst thing' happens, you will be ok." Because it turns out, the real worst thing to me is that I would be separated from the Lord. And it turns out that there are worse things than those trials. And to me, the real tragedy is living in the "If onlys" and "what ifs." I am terrified of bitterness. Maybe I'm prone to more cynicism that your average person, but I have come to realize that forgiveness and letting go (although a daily process) is necessary to me having a free heart.
And I've learned that the Bible makes no promises that certain people will always be here or certain events won't take place. What the Psalms repeat over and over again is that the Lord is our shield, our stronghold, our Comforter and Protector. He is the sustainer of life. EVEN IF, the Lord is present. EVEN IF, you are not alone.
It's really tempting to build up walls of protection to guard against those "biggest fears." But the Lord created us for relationship, and to give of ourselves to others. And doing that inevitably involves incredible risk. Love is the riskiest of businesses. On good days, I know this. But not everyday is a good day.
One of my all-time favorite songs is by Caedmon's Call. It's called "Table for Two" and it's and oldie but a goodie.
Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden,
And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt.
And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
I highly suggest and immediate iTunes download.
So I'm on Psalm 140, which means that I have only a few days left. I'd love to do a Beth Moore study...any recommendations?