It's 5:45 in the morning and I woke up at 4:45 but I don't have to be up for another hour.

I feel like I never really fell asleep. I mean, I'm sure I did. But it seems like I fell asleep thinking about wedding things and woke up thinking about the same things, so it feels like my thought process was never interrupted by sleep.

This is all very odd because in college, no matter what, I could fall asleep and sleep like a rock throughout the whole night. But lately, I have trouble falling asleep and then the second something wakes me up in the morning, I'm up for the day. There's just so much to do all the time. I keep going over my mental to-do lists and just praying it all goes over ok. Not just the wedding, although that is huge, but teaching (setting up my classroom and getting ready to be a teacher is the last thing on my mind...until nighttime rolls around) and just being married in general. All the things that go into it. I feel the need to look up grad school fees, check our budget, find out what discounts Wake County offers, find out when I get paid, making schedules for the day of the wedding, reminding myself to remind Joel of all the things he needs to tell the groomsmen, to wear the veil or not to wear the veil, have I gained weight?, will we find a Bible study?, when we will have time to go on a date? (we have been so busy and trying not to spend money), what will I wear in Charleston? what will our hotel be like?....all these things run through my head. And honestly, I'm not really following the "Do not be anxious about anything" verse. This is so odd for me. While I do have a tendency to worry, it's always during the day and has never before cut into my sleep time. I was always able to shut it off long enough to get 8 hours.

Although, in college, around finals times, I could fall asleep with no problem. But if Lauree would come back late and wake me up, I would sit up straight in bed and just stare at her, sometimes saying something about being late for a test. I think it would freak her out. I'm sure it got really annoying after a while. I barely remember these times but she would always tell me what time it was and to go back to sleep. I find this to be very funny.

I am SO excited about our new bed. My mattress is so old it hurts my back, and currently my back and legs hurt-but it's like a dull annoying pain.


I think this post has been sufficiently negative and when I am chipper later on I will try post something a little happier.